Too much time, but not time at all...

 Hey again, it's been a while. I have been thinking many times like 'I should write something to my blog..' but yeah, it's always have been just thought but NOW, finally I will write something. So ugh, I don't even remember what have been happening after my last post...but I went to Särkänniemi (amusement park at Tampere) with my sister and her girlfriend, it was fun, but I had whole time that feeling I will throw up, but I didn't and I'm so glad, heh. but after 3-4 hours I started to get bit anguished so we went to shop some stuff (or my sister shopped) and then we went Näsinneula (high torn)  and after that we went to dolphinarium, when we got there my anguish was grown much higher and I have to admit, I maybe cried a little bit there...but I'm glad we sat there where wasn't much people so no one noticed. Then we left the whole park..(after bying some candy, heh)

Both car trips were awesome, we listened the music (loud) and laughed and eveyrthing. And I started new hobby, geocaching, but I think I won't do it alone...because I'm, I don't know, I just won't I think, but it was really fun, we did it whole time when I was there, but then I got sick after two days and almost died (and I'm still little bit sick after a week!) But still we went to watch ocean, two times and it was awesome! God, I just love ocean....I wish I would live closer to it. We watched some horror movies, played cart and games, then I saw one of my friend, my old roommate and it was nice. And then my sister and her girlfriend did me a little early birthday suprise! They told me to close my eyes when we left one of the ABC and they took me to movie theater and I could open my eyes only then when we were sitting in our seats and I didn't know what movie it was but it was HORROR MOVIE! And I love horror movies, and it was my first time watching horror movie at the movie theater, the movie was the gallows, it was good (not like I got some traumas, but good) I think if I watched it at home, I wouldn't  liked it but at the theatre, it was very good.

oh, oh and btw, I'm sad (very sad) that I couldn't go to watch Jeremy Renner's new movie, Mission Impossible, but I got the poster for free! Yay!

 

After that, I haven't done anything....or anything important, had sleptover with my best friend and had meeting with my psychologist which was terrible, ABSOLYTELY TERRIFYING, I don't want to go there anymore...It makes me feel more horrible than usual...and I don't know how I feel anymore, I'm just numb and it's so terrifying...I want to feel something, I'm going crazy....Sorry about this, this end is just angst and ugh...I don't know where else to tell my feelings anymore, so sorry....but I will go to watch Walking Dead and numb my brains...so bye!

(I put some pictures from my phone)

~Here comes the darkness It's eating on my soul
  Now that the spark has Run out of control
  This fire is raging, I can't find the door
   I just want to die here on my own